Our emotions play an important role in our ability to make decisions at work and in our personal lives. That is where emotionally intelligent people make a difference and become successful. Emotional Intelligence has gained popularity in recent years but it is still new in many corporate companies.
Emotional Intelligence is a person's ability to recognize emotions, to understand their effect, and to use that information to guide decision-making. Since EI gives you deeper insight into the role emotions play in your life, a high EQ can help you reach goals more effectively. Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.
1: They handle criticism without denial, blame, excuses or anxiety.
When people with high emotional intelligence make a mistake and get criticized for it, it doesn’t send them into an emotional tailspin. It’s simply a fact to be noted, analyzed and corrected. Regardless of the exact nature of their reaction, people with high emotional intelligence do not deny it, blame others, make excuses or melt into a pool of anxiety. Excuses are another reaction common to folks with lower emotional intelligence. Unlike blame, it won’t be another person or department that gets thrown under the bus but rather your servers, procedures, phone systems, and the like. Then there’s anxiety. People in anxiety say things like, “There’s no way we’ll finish in time” or “We’ve tried to fix this before, and it just didn’t work.”
2: They’re open-minded.
A high level of self-awareness lets emotionally-intelligent people listen to a situation without reacting to judgment. They don’t automatically dismiss ideas just because they are different from their own. This makes them a popular go-to person when there’s trouble, issues, challenges or just a need for a sympathetic ear. You won’t find them chit-chatting all day, or tolerating negative personalities, but they do have a knack for helping people quickly set things right.
3: They’re good listeners.
Great listening requires a developed listening structure that separates the facts from interpretations, reactions and ends. People with emotional intelligence can identify the emotions that shut down their ability to listen. They’ve worked at developing the ability to divorce themselves from those emotions so they can remain open and able hear what is really being said.
4: They don’t sugarcoat the truth.
Emotional intelligence requires recognizing emotions in others, but this other awareness doesn’t mean shying away from speaking the truth or using tricks to try and soften the blow of tough feedback. People with emotional intelligence know how important it is that tough messages get heard. You won’t hear blatant candor that could possibly shut down the conversation, but you will hear a clear message that might sound something like this: “Frank, I’ve got a tough message to deliver. There’s no getting around it, but I want you to understand that I’m doing this out of a concern for your well-being. Because if you don’t fix this stuff, your career here is in jeopardy.”
5: They apologize when they’re wrong.
People with high emotional intelligence don’t invest valuable time trying to prove they are right when they realize they’re wrong. Instead of looking for excuses, they offer a simple, honest apology that lets them quickly get back on track. It sounds something like this: “I’m sorry” I messed up and chose some bad words that sounded like I was attacking you. This is not what I intended. Can I try again?”
6. They seek first to understand, then to be understood.
This is the golden rule of emotional intelligence. So much of conflict between people occurs right at this intersection, where one party, or both, rushes to judgment or criticism of the other person's feelings, instead of first seeking to understand where they're coming from.
7. They can recognize their own emotional state and actively make moves to improve it.
The people who struggle with emotional intelligence hardly know where they stand at any given moment emotionally, let alone someone else. One of the most important parts of being intelligent in this capacity is knowing, and being able to take responsibility for, your emotional state.
8. They know the difference between how they feel and how someone else says they should feel.
Projection is what happens when people take how they feel and place it on someone else. Those that lack emotional intelligence struggle then to differentiate between how they truly feel and how the other person says they should feel. It's this differentiation that is important.
9. They understand what habits in life cause to emotionally react in certain ways.
One of the big challenges people face, and this goes back to how individuals can actually form positive habits in their life, is knowing how they change emotionally depending on the activities they choose. For example: Some people get frustrated every time they do X, and yet continue doing X over and over again, not realizing the habit of their emotional reaction.
10. They can disagree with someone without reacting emotionally.
There is a huge difference between disagreeing with someone and having an emotional discussion that ends in flames. One is productive and one is chaotic. Ending a discussion in agreement isn't required for a dialogue to be positive. People can disagree and still respect each other. It's when people speak from an emotional place that conflict tends to arise.
EQ is very important at our workplace since success is strongly influenced by personal qualities such as perseverance, self-control and skill in getting along with others. Employees with high EQ are better able to work in teams, adjust to change and be flexible. No matter how many degrees or other on-paper qualifications a person has, if he or she doesn’t have certain emotional qualities, he or she is unlikely to succeed. As the workplace continues to evolve, making room for new technologies and innovations, these qualities may become increasingly important.
You can also check your EQ by answering the following simple questions as to what you think people might do in particular situations.
1. Compared to those with high self-esteem, people with low self-esteem experience rejection as:
A. Less painful.
B. More painful.
C. Just as painful.
2. Failure typically makes people:
A. Devalue their basic abilities.
B. Compensate by over-valuing their basic abilities.
C. Experience no change in their perception of their basic abilities.
3. Guilt trips tend to make many of their recipients feel:
A. Guilty but resentful toward the person.
B. Guilty but closer to the person.
C. Guilt trips rarely make people feel guilty.
4. Positive affirmations are effective in boosting self-esteem for:
A. People with low self-esteem but not for people with high self-esteem.
B. People with high self-esteem but not for people with low self-esteem.
C. No one.
5. Compared to people with high self-esteem, anxiety impacts people with low self-esteem:
A. Just as much.
B. Less, because they expect bad things to happen.
6. Fear of failure is usually expressed by:
A. Unconscious behaviors that increase our likelihood of success.
B. Conscious behaviors that increase our likelihood of success.
C. Unconscious behaviors that increase our likelihood of failure.
7. When we experience a loss or trauma, the best thing to do is:
A. Talk about it and get our feelings out.
B. Talk about it if we want to and avoid discussing it if we don’t.
C. Avoid discussing it and get on with life.
8. Loneliness usually makes us:
A. Have a realistic appreciation of our existing friendships.
B. Overvalue our existing friendships.
C. Undervalue our existing friendships.
9. People with low self-esteem:
A. Enjoy compliments more than people with high self-esteem.
B. Enjoy compliments less than people with high self-esteem.
C. Enjoy compliments just as much as people with high-self-esteem.
10. Rejections activate similar areas in our brainas those activated by:
B. Physical pain.
11. Over time, brooding and ruminating over a distressing event:
A. Impairs our problem solving abilities.
B. Sharpens our problem solving abilities.
C. Has no impact on our problem solving abilities.
12. Parents who suffer from fear of failure often act unconsciously in ways that:
A. Avoids putting any pressure whatsoever on their kids.
B. Transmits their fear of failure to their kids.
C. Conveys unconditional acceptance of their kids’ achievements.
13. For an apology to be effective in eliciting authentic forgiveness it must include:
A. A strong empathy statement.
B. Face to face contact with the person we harmed.
C. A realistic and valid excuse.
14. The best way to reduce angry feelings when we’re brooding about them is to:
A. Talk about the incident with as many supportive people as possible.
B. Punch a pillow while thinking of the person who angered us.
C. Think about the person who angered us as needing professional or spiritual help.
Answer Key: 1-B,2-A,3-A,4-B,5-C,6-C,7-B,8-C,9-B,10-B,11-A,12-B,13-A,14-C
Now that you know your EQ do let me know your score and let’s find out how we can work on it.
Till then Happy Reading..!